A Welcome Message

“The concept of absurdity is something I'm attracted to.” - David Lynch.

Thursday, 27 October 2011


Hi all,

Due to lack of interest and not enough time for me to give the magazine the attention it deserves, I am passing UDW back to Geoff Stevens who can be reached at

25 Griffiths Road, West Bromwich, B71 2EH, England

or email: ppatch66@hotmail.com

Any issues owed can either be requested from Geoff, or simply email me at bobzparker@hotmail.co.uk and I will refund any money owed.

Thanks to everyone who supported me in this. I am happy that I at least managed to pull off one good issue before other things got the better of me.



Monday, 13 June 2011

UDW #12 - I'll be your Mr Bad Touch

Seeing as I was so busy with lots of other stuff, stuff I can't explain because I don't feel like it, UDW kind of got forgotten a bit. There's also the fact that no one submitted work! I have accepted a couple of poems, but the other two or three poets who sent me work made me want to punch a fish monger.

The ISSN number came a bit late, like, after the fucking thing had already been sent out. So I'm going to get a load more printed and throw them at whoever dares to stick up their head like that annoying dog in Duck Hunt that you couldn't shoot. But I will be hitting you with awesome poetry. And you won't laugh at me for missing the ducks, so I will like you and touch your face with bacon in my dreams.

So, UDW #12... if you want to send me some poems, fucking send me some poems. The standard is a bit high (have you seen some of the poets I had in issue 11?!) but don't let that melt your nipples. I'm sure you'll be fine. And if you want to send me some money, then I will send you a copy of UDW #11 and #12 and whatever you want because I'm a whore. I'll be your Mr Bad Touch.

Further details should be somewhere on this blog you lazy pants.


Thursday, 11 November 2010

UDW #11 is available now!

Finally, UDW #11 is here. Copies available to order via paypal - it says donate but it really means SUBSCRIBE, but you should be able to purchase copies individually. They cost just £2 each or it is £7 for a year's subs (4 issues).

We have some great names in this issue, and a rather strange theme running throughout which people comment on, but can't seem to describe. If you have received the issue and liked it, please spread the word. Oh, and SUBMISSIONS ARE NOW OPEN FOR ISSUE #12 - LET'S MAKE THESE AS GRITTY AS POSSIBLE!

Friday, 15 October 2010

It's (almost) Alive!!

It's been interesting reading the submissions for UDW #11, though I must say that most of the work in the issue was requested as most of UDW's past contributors didn't submit at all. But we must not wallow in frustration and self-loathing here at UDW. In fact, we feel this issue will be hard to beat in future, for us and other mags too. In this issue we have new poems from George Szirtes, Luke Kennard, Salena Godden, Peter Finch and Ben Mazer, to name but a few! We can't believe our luck!

Now UDW, as I have explained before, was originally intended for British post-beat urban poetry, but since hardly anyone submitted anything like what the magazine was used to, we had to improvise. Issue #11 is kind of a mixed bag, a weird string ties this magazine together, with serious poetry alongside silly little poems, and big names alongside unknowns. Whatever the reaction to this first issue from editor Bobby Parker, no one will be able to say they didn't enjoy at least half of the poems.

So, it's almost here. We are just waiting for our ISSN numbers and a free day or two to print, staple, lick stamps and all that boring stuff. It should be no later than the end of the month, we would like to get it out for Halloween, seeing as it's such a bizarre concoction, a strange brew. If you haven't subscribed, there's still time to send me your cheques (Paypal coming soon!) - I mean, check out the contributors again, go on, can you really afford to miss out?

Tuesday, 7 September 2010

Outsider Corner #1

We have had the privilege of being sent all kinds of weird and wonderful poems recently, and since issue #11 of UDW is almost full I would like to post a few poems on here.

There is a very good chance that part of the magazine will be dedicated to Outsider Writing at some point in the future, so this is a good introduction to what we consider an antidote to all the over-crafted pretentious crap that fills almost every mainstream magazine these days. Here are three poems by G. David Schwartz. Enjoy them for what they are...

The Devil Fell Out Of Paradise

The devil fell out of paradise
And fell right in a rut
It scuffed up his face
With a lot of smut
And when he stood to brush it
He fell down again
That is one old reason
The devil has no friends

My Lord You Are So Beautiful

My lord you are so beautiful
From our head to your toes
Ok I am sorry
It's to your knees
From your nose
But lord you are so gorgeous
And hey didly diddle
All except that spot
Right there in the middle

My Favorite Poet Wrote My Favorite Poem

My favorite poet wrote my favorite poem
Yep my favorite poem were written by my favorite poet
That's the solid truth, you ought to know it
My favorite song were written by
One of my favorite musicians
And my favorite baker made my favorite pie

© G. David Schwartz

Wednesday, 23 June 2010

SCARY LOVE: A Rough List of UDW's Favourite Things

If any readers or writers would like an idea of what really gets us going, here's a list of stuff that inspires us: MOVIES by Harmony Korine, Alejandro Jodorowsky, David Lynch, Cohen Brothers, Wes Anderson, Dario Argento, Guillermo del Toro, Tim Burton's early stuff, 80s Horror Trash, Roman Polanski and Werner Herzog. MUSIC by Scott Walker (mainly Tilt and The Drift), The Moldy Peaches (also Adam Green and Kimya Dawson solo stuff,) Frank Zappa, The Residents, Tom Waits, The Nightmare Before Christmas Soundtrack by Danny Elfman, Daniel Johnston, Crispin Glover (The Big Solution) and The Bonzo Dog Band/Vivian Stanshall. BOOKS by Harmony Korine, Richard Brautigan, Harvey Pekar, James Joyce, Hubert Selby Jr, Raymond Carver, Richard Milward, Matthew Sweeney, Gerald Stern, John Ashbery and Jim Carroll. ART by Paul McCarthy, Antonin Artaud, Salvador Dali, Gilbert and George, Philip Guston, Ed and Nancy Kienholz's Sollie 17, Robert Longo, Paula Rego and Robert Crumb.

We also like dreaming, staring at something in the distance, eavesdropping, wondering what could be lurking in the dark when the street-lights fail, trying to figure out what that noise is that's coming from next-door, clapping along with crazy people who rant about spies in the town centre, looking at clouds, walking through abandoned factories, peeping through the dark windows of haunted houses, riding on trains past housing estates that have seen better days, talking to strangers on telephones that hiss, checking that loved ones are still breathing, falling over on the beach, bizarre stories told by people with mental health problems, demolitions, ghost stories, cheese before bed, cats, UFOs, reading about cults, night time love, day time love, scary love, silly love, silliness and creepy pictures... I could go on all day, but this should give you a taste of what we're all about. This doesn't mean that we are turning our back on what UDW has so far stood for, it just means that we hope to lean into the darkness and see what happens; it just means that we want to grab hold of a dream and see if it is still in our hands when we wake up; it means we want you to freak us out a little bit from your Urban hideouts because something isn't quite right, the streets are hiding something - the streets are full of stories.


Wednesday, 16 June 2010

Urban District Writer Blog is Now Here!

Here it is, a Blog for UDW (seeing as a quick search on the internet reveals next to nothing about us). Geoff Stevens has brought us this far, and the preparations are under way for the 11th issue and a new direction.

Here's a bit of history of the magazine. Geoff Stevens started UDW as a supplement to Purple Patch about two years ago. It is a hastily stapled quarterly magazine, in the tradition of punk pamphlets and small press rags, and has so far attracted a bunch of poets who model themselves on the likes of Charles Bukowski and the Beat Outlaw American Writers, except Geoff did the best he could to choose those with an Urban theme and a British flavour. So far poets such as A.D. Winans, Paul Tanner, Henry Blake, Sam Smith, Tom Kelly, David Mac, Gerald Zipper, Brendan Hawthorne and many others making a name for themselves have filled the raw pasted together pages with poems ranging from drunken apologies to satirical meditations on the state of modern Britain. Now that it has been passed on to me (Bobby Parker - a regular in the magazine myself up until now) there are going to be some significant changes, and a bit of an upgrade, with some big names offering poems for my first couple of issues, which will no doubt help to support the magazine as it becomes a place to turn when other magazines are becoming too predictable, and therefore unlikely to attract younger readers.

I hope to retain, in some way, the gritty feel to the magazine, the anything goes poetry with balls and bite, but I would also like to try and make my own mark upon the magazine, which means all manner of weirdness and silliness and general misbehaviour. Even though I will be sending my begging letters out to well-established poets for their valuable submissions, this is not because I want to compete with the bigger more mainstream magazines, but rather gather everybody together in a free-thinking community, not unlike the cafes where a straight-backed professor could be found discussing existential problems with a bearded smelly little man with a pigeon in his coat pocket.

So, from now on there will be regular updates concerning all things Urbany and Districty and Writery (I am considering changing the name of the magazine, it does sound rather like those free glossy things you get through your letterbox from the local council!) and I will be interviewing our poets on here, posting news, pictures and generally annoying you until you can't take it any more and decide to put a voodoo curse on my fingers.

If you are interested in submitting, send your work to bobzparker@hotmail.co.uk - contributors will get a free copy - and if you can find it in your weeping wallets to send me some money for a subscription, it is £4 for two issues, and cheques should be made out to Bobby Parker and sent to 7 Maureen Aston Court, Broad Street, Kidderminster, DY10 2LQ, United Kingdom. (note. I am known for sending free stuff too, all kinds of odd extras, so there's no excuse for missing out on the excitement - I mean, imagine asking for two magazines and getting some artwork or free chapbooks or posters, you're hiccupping and chasing your tails with excitement, right? Damn right you are!)